I: Reflections at 20,000 Feet

I've been contemplating life a lot over the past six months or so.  My life, human life, purpose, meaning, short-vs-long-term happiness, the pros and cons of intentional living vs. going on autopilot.  Overthinking at a micro scale is one of my fortes.

I hand-wrote the following on an October 2018 flight.  Regardless of the admittedly-low point I was at last Fall, the sentiment still resonates with me.  Capturing the words here for posterity.

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I love flying.  Staring out the window as we make our ascent always gives me a refreshed view on life.  Reminds me how insignificant our individual problems and concerns are.  Even the bigger ones - local, regional, by country, worldwide.  How much does any of it matter?  This hunk of rock I'm staring at has been floating around its pocket of infinite space for what, four billion years?  And the solar system that's flinging said rock around space at crazy speeds has been doing its thing for way longer.  This is all insane.  Incomprehensible.  So humbling.  So cool.  Flying always reminds me of these facts. 

Seeing the horizon of the (definitely round) Earth, the massive areas of yet-to-be-touched land.  Flying through puffy clouds you swear you could walk on.  Problems seem so trivial up here.  Everything does.  Anything going on down below is inconsequential from 24,000 feet up.  You could fit a duplicate of the world's population - more, actually - on this spherical plane of existence.  Who's to say it would be at all similar or related to life at ground level? 

Getting this perspective on flights is nice.  It reminds me that I am but one lemming bound for insignificance at the end of the day.  Why not spend it doing whatever the hell I want with it?  I'm thankful there are people out there who "whatever the hell I want" means following ambitions and bettering the world.  Their passion and follow through means I don't have to force it.  That sure sounds selfish...but why not be?  Finding an appropriate balance between making the most of my personal humanity and fulfilling my obligation to all of humanity is something I grapple with daily.

At the risk of sounding morbid: I'm 100% down to die in a plane crash.  Not having a say in the outcome, being resigned to my fate, no pain at the end - just lights out.  Even if I'm still young.  Quality over quantity, man - flying reminds me of that.  Of the lack of guarantee we make it to any age.  I never want to be living a life in the present that's overly sacrificial for a hypothetical future life I may or may not get the fortune of living.  If you want to do something, do it now.  Or soon.  Plan for it.  Because time is fleeting, unpredictable, and you never know when your plane is going to fall out of the sky.

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